Patti Carlyle
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On the Blog Post Markets and Beer - An Outsider's View of Cleveland (A Pittsburgh Perspective)
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On the Blog Post Eight Important Lessons for Women from Steubenville
Patti Carlyle
12:30 pm on Thursday, March 21, 2013
ReplyCT: but what then? hard truth. we are raising some boys that will become rapists right now. we can jail as many current offenders as we like...dammit, we should, far too many walk. but it's not until we address the big fat elephant in the room...misogyny, sexism, female bodies as objects, vague rules about consent, and most of all: our culture rewarding young men for the very power plays and above-the-law-ism that is at the root of this whole thing. and that is up to US, the grown ups. if we fail the little boys now, with flawed lessons about women and strength and ownership and love, we are just as culpable for their crimes later. much of our attention needs to be on education, collaboration and teaching empathy and self-worth. there will be less people to jail, because fewer people will be acting out of a desperate proving displays of power, might and manliness. but, yeah, i won't hold my breath.
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On the Blog Post Eight Important Lessons for Women from Steubenville
Patti Carlyle
10:28 am on Thursday, March 21, 2013
ReplyM: of course. i am referring to the *expectations* with a broad brush, not each man or woman. but it bears attention. families are individual, and a person's actions are of course their own. looking only at a family culture [yet more pressure on women to 'raise those kids right'!] misses a bigger opportunity. most parents work hard to make sure their children head off into the world with a good set of values and tools, and most importantly, an ethical, solid a sense of self. some kids [and adults, even] are left to their own devices, and to culture for what is expected of them. maybe that sense of self has so deeply internalized the cultural mean, that it's not even seen as a problem [way way too many people, sometimes women included, accept misogyny as status quo]. just like i choose a school for my child that supports my efforts at home, i want a culture that supports my values at home, too. as i watch my girl grown up, i sort of dread the amount of time i'll spend undoing some of the messages out there. i think there are plenty of examples of 'good kids' from 'good families' making horrible decisions [more often with guns, though, lately]. i think we just have to be diligent in our homes, but not let it stop there. some families, yes, will have to break the cycle. but, for some people, only by seeing the effects on the broader stage will it really bring it home that they need to teach their boys how to be men without violence and power. *ahem* steubenville.
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On the Blog Post Eight Important Lessons for Women from Steubenville
Patti Carlyle
9:34 am on Thursday, March 21, 2013
Replyyes the problem, murphy, is that one biological advantage [physical strength] is usually the litmus test men are held to in general. brene brown talks a lot about what is the accepted ideal in women [some of which includes: stay quiet, passive, and use all available resources to maintain appearance] versus what is expected of men...never be perceived as weak [physically *or* emotionally], and violence.so, women should remain objects to be seen and not heard, and men should make damn sure that they never stop seeking power, or be seen weak in any regard? a truly explosive, and perfectly brewed cocktail to perpetuate our rape culture.
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On the Blog Post Eight Important Lessons for Women from Steubenville
Patti Carlyle
7:24 am on Thursday, March 21, 2013
ReplyCT: i was reskimming some of these comments, and something jumped out...
"Some of these arguments is like me saying, if I punch you in the head. You should of taken personal responsibility in not making me mad."
you are right, that is what blaming the victim is, in a nutshell. but. this is *exactly* what some abusers say to the women they abuse. 'if you wouldn't make me so angry...' or worse 'i just love you so much, it makes me crazy.' [points for going the extra mile on that one.] so i think you are dead on in unravelling this problem logic. we have to pull back even further to see the patterns and threads in crimes against women, in general. they are laced with this type of 'she must have done SOMETHING to deserve it'. it's absolutely terrifying, but we will never change it if we don't look it in the face.
on a side note. thanks for getting fired up, everyone. it's such a relief to see others as flummoxed and, frankly, outraged by the steubenville rape and media re-victimization as i am.
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On the Blog Post Eight Important Lessons for Women from Steubenville
Patti Carlyle
4:42 pm on Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Replyi read this article the other day, and would highly recommend it for anyone spitting nails about the blame-the-victim culture, rampant even in these comments. http://www.ebony.com/news-views/5-ways-we-can-teach-men-not-to-rape-456#axzz2O7AbpkDr
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On the article What Song Would You Dedicate to Your Love on Valentine's Day?
Patti Carlyle
9:09 am on Friday, February 8, 2013
Replyheh. van's crazy love. our wedding song and an apt description...we're both crazy, but we each other's kind of crazy.
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On the article What Should Go in Soon-to-Close Big Dog Space?
Patti Carlyle
10:31 am on Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Replyor maybe your comment was ironic, garry...? as in, all questions posed about vacant real estate in the heights end in IKEA!!! ?
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On the article What Should Go in Soon-to-Close Big Dog Space?
Patti Carlyle
10:28 am on Tuesday, December 11, 2012
Replyikea might be better suited for the soon-to-vacant space left by walmart [and borders, and...] at severance, once it relocates to oakwood. ikea needs a huge footprint, and tons-o-parking, which coventry just doesn't have. but. they also like highway signage and access, so...will heights ever see one? too bad. it would be a fantastic regional addition.
as far as the theater. i'm at a loss. there is so much prime space vacant in the heights right now. myxx, university square...and the eventually-will-need-to-be-filled space to open at lee and meadowbrook. we have a glut of great real estate! i can usually find the silver lining on local business news, but this closing is a bummer. there are big chunks in each business district that need attention...i wish i had better ideas.
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On the article BottleHouse Handles the Brewing, Enjoys Success
Patti Carlyle
9:45 pm on Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Replymy daughter tends toward the obvious choices for a six year old...rootbeer or ice cream. often together. i tend toward the delicious bourbon drinks. i love that we can hang out there on a random Tuesday night and no one looks at me crosseyed for having a kid in a bar. and yes! we always make new friends at the open style tables!
Patti Carlyle
6:35 pm on Monday, March 25, 2013
wayne...we make the trek over to p-burgh yearly...usually during long weekends so our daughter can freak out at the children's museum. most parents who have been to both [CLEs and yours] call it worthy of the drive alone. one weekend, we saw at least 3 other families from our zip code at the pittsburgh children's museum.
but i digress.
if beer is your gig, next time you're in town, come up the hill to the heights [an inner ring burgh just to the southeast of university circle]...we don't have the glut of choices of brew like in ohio city, but the Bottlehouse Brewery is worth a peek, and soon a speakeasy/diner will be opening up right across the street from it, by a famed local chef [katz club by doug katz]. catch a show at cain park, and you have a nice little heights evening all in walking distance.
and oh. the market garden is not news to us, but that incredible burger is! my husband is jazzed to try it [and anything with a fried egg]. thanks!