We’ve heard this before. Just say no to drugs. Just say no to sex. Just say no to pregnancy.
Is it this easy?
Is it this easy to go against the peer pressure of sex and drugs? Well, we’d love to think so but this is a very hard thing to do. If this idea of “just say no” usually worked, we’d be drug free, unplanned pregnancy free, and bully free. But we aren’t!
What’s the problem with the “just say no theory?” Simply – it makes 1 person stand up against the masses. That’s hard. To date, the people who have done that have gone down in history as amazing and great people close to sainthood: Martin Luther King and Ghandi to name a few.
Now, let’s use this idea with violence. There are people who will tell you: “just walk away”, “just say no”, “just stand up for yourself, and don’t hurt anyone”. There’s even a website that is asking us to just say no to domestic violence.
This website gives you the opportunity to start a “just say no to violence against women” campaign or start your own “just say no to violence against women” campaign. Either way, we are all working on preventing this epidemic.
Wow….just say no to violence. They are doing it…how successful is it?
Now..I’m not saying anything bad about any of the above campaigns…I think they are AWESOME.
What about we change this a bit…how about “just give a compliment”. Try it.
(Note: If you know violence will occur, call the authorities and make sure you’re not around.)
This idea is simple: Every time you see a person, no matter who it is, give them a compliment or thank them for doing something. Every bad, evil, good, wonderful, calm, normal, excited, angry, lovely person you meet – give them a compliment. If they yell or get angry, give them more and explain how thankful you are for them to be: “alive, etc.”. It’s very hard to be angry when someone is giving you compliments. (Caution: Do not be condescending, sarcastic or talk about the words or their attitude, this will only increase the violence.)
Fill your life and the people around you with compliments. Thank people for being around you. Thank them for being them, or for doing actions you’d like them to do. Thank-You so much for being so nice to everyone. You don’t know if this is true or not, but you definitely planted a seed.
Keep up the compliments, thanks, etc…and you will notice the violence around you begins to subside, and suddenly you don’t hear much about the violence anymore. Is it still there…of course, but not around you.
Let’s ramp this up – What if whole groups did this, whole countries, the world…could we end violence: YES. Will millions of people constantly giving compliments to everyone they meet, it is possible you will receive over 20 compliments or acts of gratitude per day. What would that make someone feel like….Wonderful! Violence can not hold the same place as wonderful feelings.
How could you increase the amount of compliments and gratitude you give out every day? (By commenting to this post, you give everyone who reads this an idea.)
Chad Herman - motivatingforpositivechange.com